“Good gracious! Anybody hurt?” “No’m. Killed a nigger.” “Well, it’s lucky; because sometimes people do get hurt.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
My experience with horses is that they never throw away a chance to go lame. — Mark Twain Animal Copy Share Image
One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke. — Mark Twain Advice Copy Share Image
Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it… — Mark Twain Banker Copy Share Image
Truth is stranger than fiction-to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Evidence ... proves that prohibition only drives drunkenness behind closed doors and into dark places, and it does not cure it or… — Mark Twain Behind closed doors Copy Share Image
“FOR EVERY GRAIN OF SAND IN OUR WORLD, THERE ARE ONE MILLION STARS IN THE UNIVERSE.” — MARK TWAIN Astronomy Copy Share Image
“What got you into trouble?" says the baldhead to t'other chap. "Well, I'd been selling an article to take the tartar off… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“It would ’a’ been a miserable business to have any unfriendliness on the raft; for what you want, above all things, on… — Mark Twain Business Copy Share Image
Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old… — Mark Twain Death Copy Share Image
Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like… — Mark Twain Delight Copy Share Image
In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“I find that, as a rule, when a thing is a wonder to us it is not because of what we see… — Mark Twain Curiosity Copy Share Image
It was in Warwick Castle that I came across the curious stranger whom I am going to talk about. He attracted me… — Mark Twain Ancient Copy Share Image
“Emperors, kings, artisians, peasens, big people---at the bottom we are all alike and all the same; all just alike on the inside,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Anger: an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I like the truth sometimes, but I don't care enough for it to hanker after it. — Mark Twain Care Copy Share Image
Why is it that, among men, physical courage is a trait so plenteous yet moral courage is a trait so rare? — Mark Twain Courage Copy Share Image
It has taken a weary long time to persuade American Presbyterians to give up infant damnation and try to bear it the… — Mark Twain Atheism Copy Share Image
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There isn't anything so grotesque or so incredible that the average human being can't believe it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it. — Mark Twain Country Copy Share Image
Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech. — Mark Twain Communication Copy Share Image
Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. — Mark Twain Animal Copy Share Image
Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy with the chance; the last half consists of the chance without… — Mark Twain Birthday Copy Share Image
Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages. — Mark Twain Age Copy Share Image
I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age; in 1977… — Mark Twain Age Copy Share Image
Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. — Mark Twain Fiction Copy Share Image
All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge. — Mark Twain College Copy Share Image
“My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.” — Mark Twain Book Copy Share Image
A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read… — Mark Twain Cat Copy Share Image
Astonishing things can be done with the human memory if you will devote it faithfully to one particular line of business. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. — Mark Twain Intelligence Copy Share Image
I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean,… — Mark Twain Congress Copy Share Image
Switzerland is simply a large, lumpy, solid rock with a thin skin of grass stretched over it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
