Jen Kirkman Quotes

43 quotes in 665 categories

• Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a "Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special." But the grandmother stuff, really,…
• People said to me, "You know, when you record a special, you're going to regret it. The one thing you'll regret because you're a comic…
• I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, "This is the best way for people to find out about me.
• I don't have any jokes about my divorce or my ex-husband, who is a lovely person. It really is about how I was an idiot…
• I find it actually the height of romance to legally bind yourself to someone because you're really taking care of someone, and letting them take…
• Not that that's my goal, but when you're very wealthy and very famous, you can have a lot more decisions in what you do. You…
• I realized that even I have weird intimacy issues with humans - like, I need my friendships to get deeper, I need to be locked…
• I think people with anxiety do different things during different years.
• Whatever my life looks like, I want it to be real and big and full. I want when, if I get hit by a car,…
• I have some pretty wonderful friendships, so that's been really good for me. In the past year, I've really worked on that. I think when…
• I have no interest in saying "This is who I am! This is what I'm like!"
• I don't know if I don't believe in monogamy. I think I do believe in it depending on the person or situation or something.
• I am never home, and it's hard to keep up with things that are good for you to have in life like relationships, whether they…
• My nana was always a widow as long as I was alive; my grandfather died before I was born. All the women on my street…
• I thought that's what happened to women: You live alone when you're old.
• What I found out about myself was I am not someone who doesn't believe in marriage.
• I don't like to joke about dating.
• I realized I need a certain kind of chemistry and a certain kind of look to be into someone, and like 1 percent of the…
• A lot of times that I'm single is not for a lack of anyone being interested; it's me.
• My joke is a picture of David Bowie on his balcony in the '70s in a suit in Paris, and unless that's you, I'm not…

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