Jasper Carrott Quotes
- Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.
- I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to…
- I am cursed with a right leg that arouses the desire of any male dog that happens to be passing. I used to think that…
- They put up this bloke's picture on Crimewatch UK with a phone number and said 'Have you seen this man?' Well my auntie rang them…
- Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy.
- I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business genius.
- I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.
- I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being…
- I want to do things I enjoy, and show business comes fifth or sixth down the line.
- I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.
- The impact of T.V. on our lives in general gets most things out of proportion.
- The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested interests.
- There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson.
- Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them.
- I should be more vocal about the things I believe are doing us harm, but many years ago in my early twenties, I learned a…