All Jackie Gleason Quotes
- Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right… Deer
- Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls. Actors
- The best part of you ran down your mother's legs. Best
- The Miami Beach audience is the greatest audience in the world. Audience
- If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you… Funny
- Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. Adorable
- I have no use for humility. I am a fellow with an exceptional talent. Exceptional
- A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don`t like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges. Any
- Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl. Actor
- Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love. Braggarts
- Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at. Drinking
- The worst thing you can do with money is save it. Funny
- One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser! Days
- A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini. Children
- The only thing better than one of my songs is one of my songs with a glass of scotch. Better
- I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings. Alcoholic
- Some drink to forget, some drink to remember-me, I drink to get bagged, Bagged
- Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy. Feeling
- The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. Always Easier
- Our dreams are firsthand creations, rather than residues of waking life. We have the capacity for infinite creativity; at least while dreaming, we partake of… Capacity
- I only made $200 a week and I had to buy my own bullets. Bullets
- I have a 'Play The Melody' philosophy. It means don't over arrange, don't make life difficult. Just play the melody-and do it the simplest way… Arrange
- How sweet it is! Life
- Your clubs. Clubs
- Pow Zoo to the moon, Alice ?? Is this correct? Alice