Jackie Gleason Quotes
25 quotes
in 252 categories
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Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right…
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Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls.
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The best part of you ran down your mother's legs.
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The Miami Beach audience is the greatest audience in the world.
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If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you…
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Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.
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I have no use for humility. I am a fellow with an exceptional talent.
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A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don`t like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges.
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Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl.
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Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love.
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Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.
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The worst thing you can do with money is save it.
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One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser!
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A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.
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The only thing better than one of my songs is one of my songs with a glass of scotch.
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I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings.
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Some drink to forget, some drink to remember-me, I drink to get bagged,
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Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy.
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The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
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Our dreams are firsthand creations, rather than residues of waking life. We have the capacity for infinite creativity; at least while dreaming, we partake of…
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