Jackie Gleason Quotes

25 quotes in 252 categories

• Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right…
• Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls.
• The best part of you ran down your mother's legs.
• The Miami Beach audience is the greatest audience in the world.
• If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you…
• Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.
• I have no use for humility. I am a fellow with an exceptional talent.
• A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don`t like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges.
• Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl.
• Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love.
• Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.
• The worst thing you can do with money is save it.
• One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser!
• A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.
• The only thing better than one of my songs is one of my songs with a glass of scotch.
• I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings.
• Some drink to forget, some drink to remember-me, I drink to get bagged,
• Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy.
• The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
• Our dreams are firsthand creations, rather than residues of waking life. We have the capacity for infinite creativity; at least while dreaming, we partake of…

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