Howard Tayler

“Is it really 'pro bono' if a lawyer takes your case in exchange for explosives? -Captain Hartung”

— Howard Tayler

As long as we only have to lie to the enemy, it's honest enough for me. -Captain Tagon

— Howard Tayler

“Oh, that's great. That way, when things have quieted down, and we come up for air, or money, or re-supply, we'll get…

— Howard Tayler

“Technically, you don't pay me. And technically, most of what I do is "think." I...rrr. ummm. And when you get right down…

— Howard Tayler

Judging by the sounds of general panic, I want a gun like that.

— Howard Tayler

“Are you done briefing the company yet?" "We, um... Haven't gotten through the introductions yet." "Allow me: Time-traveling Kevyn Andreyasn, this is…

— Howard Tayler

“Maxim 2: A sergeant in motion outranks a lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

— Howard Tayler

“Maxim 16: Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

— Howard Tayler

“You're more mean-spirited than I remember you being." "It's this organic body. Hologram fur wasn't itchy.”

— Howard Tayler

“Ow. Stop that. It hurts my brain. Isn't your brain distributed through your entire body? See why I want you to stop…

— Howard Tayler

“That's odd. It looks almost as if Nick is picking a fight with that elephant." "Well, the elephant started it." "That's irrelevant.…

— Howard Tayler

Maxim 6: If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

— Howard Tayler

“Being a mercenary, though... Hey, we just go wherever there's a mixture of money and trouble, and everyone in the galaxy is…

— Howard Tayler

“Hi. I'm here to enlist. You can't. You aren't human. You see, little fella, we don't do sociological stuff like "interspeciated workplaces."…

— Howard Tayler

“Maxim 1: Pillage, then burn. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

— Howard Tayler

“Maxim 8: Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally…

— Howard Tayler

“Maxim 35: That which does not kill us has made a tactical error. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

— Howard Tayler

“AAAAIIIE! You're the guy with the things, and the thing that does that thing, and then you did that one thing! Oh,…

— Howard Tayler

“So you're a fellow mercenary, then." "Does this mean you'll afford me some professional courtesy?" "Don't ask for that. All it means…

— Howard Tayler

“Ennesby, get the Serial Peacemaker to the beach for dustoff." "Dustoff? You're going to run away from three guys?" "No, I'm going…

— Howard Tayler

“I'm a disgruntled ex-civil servant, and I'm armed. If you don't process my license right now I'm going to start making small,…

— Howard Tayler

“Captain, I'm fairly unique among artificial intelligences. I am FREE. I work for you because I want to. I fly your ship…

— Howard Tayler

“Kevyn, Ennesby tells me you are building a time machine. Actually I'm finished. In one afternoon? Wow... Does it work? After a…

— Howard Tayler

“A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.”

— Howard Tayler

“Maxim 15: Only you can prevent friendly fire. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries”

— Howard Tayler