House MD Quotes

30 quotes in 327 categories

• House: As fascinating as our bodies are, they're also stupid.
• House: Truth begins in lies.
• Michael Tritter: Merry Christmas House: And a Happy Go-to-Hell.
• Cuddy: Dr. House! Need you here. House: No thanks. Lotta sick people. I might catch something.
• Cameron: You can't diagnose that without a biopsy. House: Yes, we can, we treat it. If she gets better we know that we're right. Cameron:…
• Taub: You don't have clinic duty today. House: Who says it's a duty?
• Team: We've got rectal bleeding. House: What, all of you?
• House: Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person? Cuddy: Are you high? House: If it's Tuesday, I'm wasted. Cuddy: It's…
• Nun: Sister Augustine believes in things that aren't real. House: I thought that was a job requirement for you people.
• Wilson: Did you know your phone is dead? Do you ever recharge the batteries? House: They recharge? I just keep buying new phones.
• House: What the hell are those? Cameron: Candy canes. House: Candy canes? Are you mocking me.
• Cuddy to House: l'll be on your couch with a shotgun, in case you try to make a limp for the border.
• Stacy: God, you're an idiot! House: I like to think of myself as more of a jerk.
• Lydia: And who's going to carry you when you're carrying the cello? House: Yes, cast aside the useless cripple. How very German of you.
• Thirteen: You are the champion of not dealing with your problems. House: My grandson gave me a mug that says that.
• Wilson: House, you're right! Why not? Why not date you?? Its brilliant; weve known each other for years, we've put up with all kinds of…
• Wilson: They could build monuments to your self-centeredness. House vs. God
• Cuddy: Oh, why do you have to make everything so dramatic? House: Because I'm a very high-strung little lapdog *yips*
• Wilson: They could build monuments to your self-centeredness.
• Clinic Patient: I wasn't trying to off myself. House: No, you were trying to kill the wall.

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