The instant I reach Heaven, I'm going to speak to God very sharply. — H. L. Mencken God Copy Share Image
The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist Jack. — H. L. Mencken Baptists Copy Share Image
Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born so long ago. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse. — H. L. Mencken Horse Copy Share Image
Man, at his best, remains a sort of one-lunged animal, never completely rounded and perfect, as a cockroach, say, is perfect. — H. L. Mencken Animal Copy Share Image
War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands. — H. L. Mencken Babies Copy Share Image
The doctrine that the cure for the evils of democracy is more democracy is like saying that the cure of crime is… — H. L. Mencken Crime Copy Share Image
The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule. — H. L. Mencken Humanity Copy Share Image
Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what… — H. L. Mencken Atheism Copy Share Image
Not by accident, you may be sure, do the Christian Scriptures make the father of knowledge a serpent - slimy, sneaking and… — H. L. Mencken Accidents Copy Share Image
The movies today are too rich to have any room for genuine artists. They produce a few passable craftsmen, but no artists.… — H. L. Mencken Art Copy Share Image
The scientist who yields anything to theology, however slight, is yielding to ignorance and false pretenses, and as certainly as if he… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
Once a woman passes a certain point in intelligence she finds it almost impossible to get a husband: she simply cannot go… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
To the best of my knowledge and belief, the average American newspaper, even of the so-called better sort, is not only quite… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
The believing mind reaches its perihelion in the so-called Liberals. They believe in each and every quack who sets up his booth… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
There has been no organized effort to keep government down since Jefferson's day. Ever since then the American people have been bolstering… — H. L. Mencken Affair Copy Share Image
God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, and the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in his arms, but… — H. L. Mencken Agnosticism Copy Share Image
Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other's speeches,… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
The storm center of lawlessness in every American State is the State Capitol. It is there that the worst crimes are committed;… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
Here is tragedy - and here is America. For the curse of the country, as well of all democracies, is precisely the… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
It seems to me that society usually wins. There are, to be sure, free spirits in the world, but their freedom, in… — H. L. Mencken Analysis Copy Share Image
As for me, my literary theory, like my politics, is based chiefly upon one main idea, to wit, the idea of freedom.… — H. L. Mencken Extremes Copy Share Image
All the political seers and sorcerers seem to be agreed that the coming Presidential campaign will be full of bitterness, and that… — H. L. Mencken Argument Copy Share Image
I never listen to debates. They are dreadful things indeed. The plain truth is that I am not a fair man, and… — H. L. Mencken Aviation Copy Share Image
I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs. There is in every living creature an… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
The great masses of men, though theoretically free, are seen to submit supinely to oppression and exploitation of a hundred abhorrent sorts.… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
