Greg Proops Quotes

16 quotes in 208 categories

• I understand that smoking is vaguely inappropriate in certain situations. You know, like an orphanage, cancer ward, whatever.
• I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.
• You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!
• Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.
• It doesn't matter how much of an asshole you are, there was always someone who thought you were cool.
• If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.
• Yo. I'm from Beverly Hills, and I be pimpin'.
• I thought the Egyptians had cured baldness.
• I would like to thank ABC for giving me the Drew Carey award. It only goes to one lucky guy with glasses a year, and…
• How would you like to make money in real estate?
• President Clinton celebrates the first casual Friday at the white house by wearing leather chaps.
• Arizona changes its state motto to Damn, it's hot.
• And eat lots of mints, it fools the cops.
• Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even…
• People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.
• Animals have two vital functions in today's society; to be delicious and to fit well.

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