It's our imagination that's responsible for love, not the other person. — Esther Perel Imagination Copy Share Image
Love enjoys knowing everything about you; desire needs mystery. — Esther Perel Desire Copy Share Image
“Polarity Management: Identifying and Managing Unsolvable Problems” — Esther Perel Management Copy Share Image
“Eroticism resides in the ambiguous space between anxiety and fascination.” — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
Love is at once an affirmation and a transcendence of who we are. — Esther Perel Affirmation Copy Share Image
“Eventually, if desire withers, monogamy too easily slides downward into celibacy. When this happens, fidelity becomes a weakness rather than a virtue.” — Esther Perel Celibacy Copy Share Image
“What I can tell you,” she says, “is that his kindness makes me feel safe, but when I think about who I… — Esther Perel Kindness Copy Share Image
“Neutralizing each other’s complexity affords us a kind of manageable otherness.” — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
There is no neediness in desire ... there is no caretaking in desire. Caretaking is mightily loving, [but] it's a powerful anti-aphrodisiac. — Esther Perel Aphrodisiac Copy Share Image
In my community there were two groups of people, There were the ones who did not die and the ones who came… — Esther Perel Community Copy Share Image
“The “symptom” theory goes as follows: An affair simply alerts us to a preexisting condition, either a troubled relationship or a troubled… — Esther Perel Affair Copy Share Image
“I got rid of my motorcycle when Jimmy was born. I’m not allowed to die in a bike crash anymore.” — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
“So, like a forgotten fire, a childhood can always flare up again within us. —Gaston Bachelard” — Esther Perel Childhood Copy Share Image
“Big data analyst Seth Stephens-Davidowitz reports in the New York Times that Google searches for “sexless marriage” outnumber searches related to any… — Esther Perel Internet Copy Share Image
Most affairs do die a natural death. Today, you look at your partner's phone to find out the weather, and you find… — Esther Perel Affair Copy Share Image
People cheat on each other in a hundred different ways: indifference, emotional neglect, contempt, lack of respect, years of refusal of intimacy.… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
“The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships . . . which are basically a reflection of… — Esther Perel Decency Copy Share Image
“Infidelity hurts. But when we grant it a special status in the hierarchy of marital misdemeanors, we risk allowing it to overshadow… — Esther Perel Betrayal Copy Share Image
Today, we turn to one person to provide what an entire village once did: a sense of grounding, meaning, and continuity. At… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
Love is a vessel that contains both security and adventure, and commitment offers one of the great luxuries of life: time. Marriage… — Esther Perel Adventure Copy Share Image
The kiss that you have never given is just as powerful as hours of actual lovemaking. The erotic isn't just what is… — Esther Perel Erotic Copy Share Image
Many couples have never had a conversation about sexuality and sexual boundaries. The presence or lack of sex, the quality of it,… — Esther Perel Affair Copy Share Image
Secrecy fuels erotic intensity because it makes you feel like you're doing something that is entirely yours. It gives you the sense… — Esther Perel Affair Copy Share Image
We are afraid that our adult sexuality will somehow damage our kids, that it’s inappropriate or dangerous. But whom are we protecting?… — Esther Perel Adults Copy Share Image
“We don't like to be intimate alone. Some couples take this one step further, confusing intimacy with control. What passes for care… — Esther Perel Intimacy Copy Share Image
But when we reduce sex to a function, we also invoke the idea of dysfunction. We are no longer talking about the… — Esther Perel Anxiety Copy Share Image
“If intimacy grows through repetition and familiarity, eroticism is numbed by repetition. It thrives on the mysterious, the novel, and the unexpected.… — Esther Perel Desire Copy Share Image
If a woman isn't feeling sexual with herself, she won't respond to advances from any partner, male or female. When this woman… — Esther Perel Dance Copy Share Image
At the same time, eroticism in the home requires active engagement and willful intent. It is an ongoing resistance to the message… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
“The smaller we feel in the world, the more we need to shine in the eyes of our partner.” — Esther Perel Love Copy Share Image
“In this world there are only two tragedies. One is getting what one wants, and the other is not getting it.” When” — Esther Perel Tragedies Copy Share Image
“despite its widespread denunciation, infidelity has a tenacity that marriage can only envy.” — Esther Perel Betrayal Copy Share Image
The attraction of dating is that you don't take yes for granted - - you're fully engaged, there's seductiveness, tension. — Esther Perel Attraction Copy Share Image
“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. —Anaïs Nin” — Esther Perel Death Copy Share Image
Today, our sexuality is an open-ended personal project; it is part of who we are, an identity, and no longer merely something… — Esther Perel Identity Copy Share Image
Women want to talk first, connect first, then have sex. For men, sex is the connection. Sex is man's language of intimacy — Esther Perel Connections Copy Share Image
Our partner's sexuality does not belong to us. It isn't just for and about us, and we should not assume that it… — Esther Perel Copy Share Image
What is the relationship between love and desire? How do they relate, and how do they conflict? ... Therein lies the mystery… — Esther Perel Conflict Copy Share Image