Earl Wilson Quotes
- A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.
- A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
- Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
- You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.
- If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
- Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
- Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?
- Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.
- Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.
- A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie.
- One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.
- This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.
- To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.
- Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.
- The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.
- He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.
- Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
- Poise: the ability to be ill at ease inconspicuously.
- Middle Age - later than you think and sooner than you expect.
- Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.