Chris Farley Quotes

19 quotes in 270 categories

• In the land of the skunks he who has half a nose is king.
• I'm just dandy, I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants
• First off I am 35 years old, I am divorced, and I live in a van down by the river.
• I can get a great look at a t-bone steak by shoving my head up a bull's ass but I'd rather take the butchers word…
• I have a tendency toward the pleasures of the flesh. It's a battle for me, as far as weight and things like that. But I'm…
• Basically, I only play one character; I just play him at different volumes.
• Brothers don't shake hands, brothers gotta HUG!!!
• I have what doctors call a little bit of a weight problem.
• I want to live fast and die young.
• People need a time to laugh. It's up to us to bonk ourselves on the head and slip on a banana peel so the average…
• I live in a van, down by the river!
• Everybody laughs when fatty falls down.
• I used to think that you could get to a level of success where the laws of the universe didn't apply. But they do. It's…
• The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer.
• Once I thought that if I just had enough in the bank, if I had enough fame, that it would be all right. But I'm…
• I was in the Pritikin Center in Santa Monica once, trying to lose 30 or 40 pounds in a month. I'd work... on a treadmill…
• I still have to work on my weight and some of my other demons.
• Everyone is treating it like a Hollywood story. In Madison, it's a neighborhood story.
• Let me tell you why I suck as a sellman....

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