“It was impossible to escape her. She provided no natural break in the conversation, and she spoke with such intensity that I… — Augusten Burroughs Communication Copy Share Image
There is no shame in being hungry for another person. There is no shame in wanting very much to share your life… — Augusten Burroughs Food Copy Share Image
With my own memoirs, they are truthful, and I write everything fully expecting to some day end up televised on Court TV,… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Throwing things horrified me. I suffered extreme, paralyzing anxiety when it came to anything remotely athletic. I wouldn't even run to catch… — Augusten Burroughs Anxiety Copy Share Image
I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how… — Augusten Burroughs Lonely Copy Share Image
“He sees the shit that happens around me - or because of me - so now he is only 99.99 percent certain… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
As a writer, you can't allow yourself the luxury of being discouraged and giving up when you are rejected, either by agents… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
The most I would do was use the shadow tool in Photoshop to bring out the muscular rips in my stomach, which… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“I realized I could do anything to him and he would never hate me. I could never drive him away, spoil things… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
In the opening to the Mary Tyler Moore Show Mary's in the supermarket, hurrying through the aisles. She pauses at the meat… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Even painfully shy and awkward people are not painfully shy or awkward when they are alone. The way to access this natural,… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“As I move along the line, other food items are plunked onto my tray: a small salad of iceberg lettuce and bacos,… — Augusten Burroughs Food Copy Share Image
“I want to feel calm and at ease. Like someone who lives in Half Moon Bay, California, and makes hummus from scratch.… — Augusten Burroughs Alcoholism Copy Share Image
“I paused finally and watched the trees for slashes of light, but saw none. As my heart settled and my ears became… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I think that the Internet is our most profound and beautiful achievement. It is magnificent. We have the Internet as a layer… — Augusten Burroughs Achievement Copy Share Image
“His toes wriggle in his socks and my first thought is, I want to snip them off with hedge trimmers. Not only… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“When you have a blueprint for what happiness is, lay it over your life and see what you need to change so… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I've learned how to turn the adversities in my life into enriching experiences. You can actually gain a lot from adversities and… — Augusten Burroughs Adversity Copy Share Image
“And that was one thing I didn't want: NO CASUAL SEX. I thought it was disgusting, the idea of just screwing around… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I've just finished my next collection, Possible Side Effects, and I'm now working on a collection of holiday stories as well as… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Should I just sit down, right here at carousel seven, and shake until somebody's arms are around me and they're saying, 'It's… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I couldn't help but think, This car is taking me to a mental hospital and my mother is treating it like open-mic… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
My attraction had been immediate and profound. And it had nothing to do with the way he looked. My attraction was to… — Augusten Burroughs Attraction Copy Share Image
“Riding back from the grocery store, I realized my father was two men—one he presented to the outside world, and one, far… — Augusten Burroughs Father Copy Share Image
“Adam had smiled at him and Max had smiled back. And then they both just stood there in that awkward silence that… — Augusten Burroughs Strangers Copy Share Image
Nothing made sense to me anymore. I knew I was young, I knew I was small. But I was worried that I… — Augusten Burroughs Life Copy Share Image
I thought, I can't do advertising any more, so I was downloading all these PDF applications from community colleges. And I thought,… — Augusten Burroughs Advertising Copy Share Image
I'm always prepared for the worst. I was prepared to have the book come out, sell seven copies, and have to keep… — Augusten Burroughs Advertising Copy Share Image
When people meet me, many times they're very surprised because they expect someone who is kind of wacky with seven piercings and… — Augusten Burroughs Cities Copy Share Image
I felt a bottomless sadness. So completely alone. Like one of my stuffed animals at home that I was too old for… — Augusten Burroughs Animal Copy Share Image
“It is astonishingly satisfying to look at him and think Closet Case, and know he can read my mind as he looks… — Augusten Burroughs Psychology Copy Share Image
“My mother is from Cairo, Georgia. This makes everything she says sound like it went through a curling iron. Other people sound… — Augusten Burroughs Creative Copy Share Image
“I could see jabs from his flashlight cutting into the woods on either side of me. He was back there, somewhere. The… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I once read about a guy who lost his arms in a fire. The nurse took pity on him and gave him… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
It terrified me to consider: What if, as a grown-up, I craved another body beside me as still as this one? What… — Augusten Burroughs Body Copy Share Image
“What little factual information I absorbed in my life was gleaned from lectures the Professor gave to Gilligan. For” — Augusten Burroughs Life Copy Share Image
But she did love him. I believe it. I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn't deserve it. Because… — Augusten Burroughs Attention Copy Share Image
“Bookman isn't a stable man. He has a lot of problems that run very, very deep." But he was really good at… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“...I don't think it's any more deceptive than wearing four-inch come-fuck-me pumps when one has no intention of ever fucking anybody.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
What I think of blogs is just this: Some are beautifully written and many are not. But even blogs that aren't necessarily… — Augusten Burroughs Blog Copy Share Image
