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Alan King

60 quotes in 462 categories

[Wikipedia] Alan King was an American comedian, actor and satirist known for his biting wit and often angry humorous rants. He was also a serious actor who appeared in a number of films and television shows. King wrote several books, produced films, and appeared in plays. In his later years, he helped many phil

Quotes by Alan King · Page 3

When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the…

Bigotry

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Did you hear the one about the elderly Jew on his deathbed who sent for a priest, after declaring to his astonished…

About

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Right when I started in show... Milton Berle was my first idol. When I was a kid, I went to see Milton…

First

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I was a high school throw-out.

High school

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I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.

Carnegie

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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

Fighting

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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.

Bird

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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

Holiday

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One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'

Dinner

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As you get older, as you become more sensitive, feel more, it becomes harder to make jokes. You censor yourself.

Become

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Alan King by topic

Parenting (10) Humor (9)