All Alan Bennett Quotes
- If you think squash is a competitive activity, try flower arranging. Activity
- We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules. Anarchist
- I'm all in favour of free expression provided it's kept rigidly under control. All
- Definition of a classic: a book everyone is assumed to have read and often thinks they have. Assumed
- We were put to Dickens as children but it never quite took. That unremitting humanity soon had me cheesed off. Cheesed
- Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache. Cruel
- So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name. Asleep
- Your whole life is on the other side of the glass. And there is nobody watching. Glass
- Those who have known the famous are publicly debriefed of their memories, knowing as their own dusk falls that they will only be remembered for… Advice
- Had your forefathers, Wigglesworth, been as stupid as you are, the human race would never have succeeded in procreating itself. Been
- Life is generally something that happens elsewhere. Elsewhere
- Why is it always the "intelligent" people who are socialists? Inspirational
- Cancer, like any other illness, is a bore. Any
- Children always assume the sexual lives of their parents come to a grinding halt at their conception. Always Assume
- I suppose I'm the only person who remembers one of the most exciting of his ballets-it's the fruit of an unlikely collaboration between Nijinsky on… Arthur
- Have you ever thought, headmaster, that your standards might perhaps be a little out of date? Of course they're out of date. Standards are always… Course
- I write plays about things that I can't resolve in my mind. I try to root things out. Mind
- I've never seen the point of the sea, except where it meets the land. The shore has a point. The sea has none. Except
- My films are about embarrassment. Embarrassment
- Were we closer to the ground as children, or is the grass emptier now? Children
- I was an only child. I lost both my parents. By the time I was twenty I was bald. I'm homosexual. In the way of… Artist
- Life is like a box of sardines and we are all looking for the key. All
- A bookshelf is as particular to its owner as are his or her clothes; a personality is stamped on a library just as a shoe… Bookshelf
- Standards are always out of date. That's what makes them standards. Computer
- The longer I practise medicine, the more convinced I am there are only two types of cases: those that involve taking the trousers off and… Cases