A. P. Herbert Quotes

21 quotes in 340 categories

• Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be…
• An act of God was defined as something which no reasonable man could have expected.
• aven, I have given up smoking again!... God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps; but the…
• Don't let's go to the dogs tonight, For mother will be there.
• The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.
• As my poor father used to say In 1963, Once people start on all this Art Goodbye, moralitee! And what my father used to say…
• My ball is in a bunch of fern, A jolly place to be; An angry man is close astern- He waves his club at me.…
• Harriet, Hi! Light of my eye! Come to the pictures and have a good cry, For it's jolly old Saturday, Mad-as-a-hatter-day, Nothing-much-matter-day-night!
• The Common Law of England has been laboriously built about a mythical figure-the figure of 'The Reasonable Man'.
• Let's find out what everyone is doing, And then stop everyone from doing it.
• An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
• Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain. Fancy giving money to the Government! Nobody will see…
• If nobody said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth.
• Elderly gentlemen, gentle in all respects, kind to animals, beloved by children, and fond of music, are found in lonely corners of the downs, hacking…
• The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
• A high-brow is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.
• People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.
• This high official, all allow, is grossly overpaid; there wasn't any Board, and now there isn't any Trade.
• Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain.
• I am sure that the party system is right and necessary. There must be some scum.

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