“Congratulations! Youre not perfect! Its ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway. But then, everybodys ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people. You know what perfect is? Perfect is not eating, drinking, talking, moving a muscle, making even the teensiest mistake. Perfect is never doing anything wrong, which means never doing anything at all. Perfect is boring! So youre not perfect! Wonderful! Have fun! Eat things that give you bad breath! Trip over your own shoelaces! Laugh! Let somebody else laugh at you! Perfect people never do any of those things. All they do is sit around, sip weak tea, think about how perfect they are. But theyre really not 100% perfect anyway. You should see them when they get the hiccups! Phooey! Who needs em? You can drink pickle juice, imitate gorillas, do silly dances, sing stupid songs, wear funny hats, be as imperfect as you please & still be a good person. Good people are hard to find nowadays & theyre a lot more fun than perfect people anyways!”
