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First time Quote by Alexander McCall Smith

“[...] Look at the way people try to make points of contact with others when they meet. Look at the way you instinctively try to establish whether somebody you meet for the first time knows somebody you know. Watch people do it. I'm from such and such place. Oh yes? So you know So-and-So? Yes! And…” quote by Alexander McCall Smith
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““[...] Look at the way people try to make points of contact with others when they meet. Look at the way you instinctively try to establish whether somebody you meet for the first time knows somebody you know. Watch people do it. I'm from such and such place. Oh yes? So you know So-and-So? Yes! And So-and-So? No, I don't know her, but of course, there's So-and-So. That's how it works." "I suppose so. But why?" "Because we don't like impersonality. Maybe..." David joined in. "Because we had to." She asked him: "Had to what?" "Because he had to co-operate. That's deep in the genes. We had to co-operate with one another and so we needed to know whether the stranger was a threat. [...]””

Alexander McCall Smith

About This Quote

Source Novel: The No.1 Ladies' Detective Agency, 1998

Humans instinctively seek social connections to assess trust and avoid impersonality, a deep‑rooted cooperative trait.

In simple terms: We look for familiar links to feel safe.

Key Takeaway

Build rapport by finding common acquaintances.

Themes

trust social bonding evolutionary psychology

Mood

curious analytical

Type

anthropological conversational

When to use this quote

  • networking events
  • first meetings
  • team building

Key Concepts

cooperation social cognition

Questions to Reflect On

  • Why do we instinctively check acquaintances?
  • What does this reveal about human nature?
A Different Perspective

May not apply in highly anonymous digital interactions.

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