Punishment Quote by Adele Faber
““Instead of Punishment 1. EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS STRONGLY—WITHOUT ATTACKING CHARACTER. “I’m furious that my new saw was left outside to rust in the rain!” 2. STATE YOUR EXPECTATIONS. “I expect my tools to be returned after they’ve been borrowed.” 3. SHOW THE CHILD HOW TO MAKE AMENDS. “What this saw needs now is a little steel wool and a lot of elbow grease.” 4. OFFER A CHOICE. “You can borrow my tools and return them or you can give up the privilege of using them. You decide.” 5. TAKE ACTION. Child: “Why is the toolbox locked?” Father: “You tell me why.” 6. PROBLEM-SOLVE. “What can we work out so that you can use my tools when you need them, and so that I’ll be sure they’re there when I need them?””
About This Quote
Source Book: Siblings Without Rivalry, Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish, 1997
A step-by-step guide for expressing feelings, setting expectations, and resolving conflicts constructively with children.
In simple terms: Teach kids to communicate feelings and solve problems calmly.
Key Takeaway
Use clear, respectful communication to fix issues.
Themes
communication
conflict resolution
parenting
emotional intelligence
Mood
calm
constructive
supportive
Type
instructional
practical
educational
When to use this quote
- parent‑child disagreements
- discipline moments
- teaching responsibility
- repairing relationships
Key Concepts
assertiveness
expectation setting
repair
choice offering
problem solving
Questions to Reflect On
- How can you adapt these steps for younger children?
- What boundaries do you need when offering choices?
A Different Perspective
May not work if child is too young to grasp abstract concepts.
![“[Religion] attacks us in our deepest integrity - the core of our self-respect. Religion says that we would not know right from wrong, we would not know an evil, wicked act from a decent human act without divine permission, without divine authority or without, even worse, either the fear of a…” quote by Christopher Hitchens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/ab6/christopher-hitchens-117_action_religion-attacks-us-in-our-deepest-integ_23299.jpg)
