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Sense of self Quote by Ada Calhoun

“There are a lot of really broken people. Unfortunately, especially for women, your sense of self and your viability is so under assault from this terrible culture focused on youth. Men have permission for eternal childhoods. So many people I know by all rights should have been married. They're…” quote by Ada Calhoun
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““There are a lot of really broken people. Unfortunately, especially for women, your sense of self and your viability is so under assault from this terrible culture focused on youth. Men have permission for eternal childhoods. So many people I know by all rights should have been married. They're sad. They're alone. They're hurt. They're angry at all the sexual passing along. Men as well as women. So let's have another reason for marriage. Even people who are divorced have a certain dignity around the fact that that had happened. We need to look at marriage from the standpoint of aging, from the standpoint of cultural disposability, and to look to an institution that says, 'You are precious. Your union is precious. The community is supposed to think your union is precious. We're going to do this in public so everybody knows and everybody is accountable.' That's huge. It's the opposite of saying you're disposable or that there's no hope or help for you if things go awry.””

Ada Calhoun

About This Quote

Source Interview: The Atlantic, “Why Marriage Still Matters”, 2023

The quote argues that marriage should be reframed as a protective, dignified institution for aging adults, countering a culture that devalues older individuals, especially women, and treats them as disposable.

In simple terms: Marriage can give dignity and community support to older people.

Key Takeaway

Promote marriage as a supportive community bond for aging adults.

Themes

aging dignity community gender culture marriage

Mood

reflective hopeful critical

Type

social philosophical inspirational

When to use this quote

  • support for elderly couples
  • community accountability
  • redefining marriage
  • addressing gender bias
  • building lasting relationships

Key Concepts

social contract cultural critique intergenerational solidarity

Questions to Reflect On

  • How can society honor aging individuals outside of marriage?
  • What policies could support non‑married elders?
A Different Perspective

May not address those who choose not to marry or alternative family structures.

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