My mom wanted me to be a youth pastor, and when I became a comedian, she said it was close enough. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
I wanted to be a pastor. I was going to be a youth pastor. I mean, I play guitar; I like to… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
I think my mom recognized that I liked people to be happy. I like people to get along. And I like to… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
When somebody comes across as authentic and genuine and sweet, people just want to spend time with that person. — Pete Holmes Copy Share
When my wife left me, in real life, T. J. Miller was like, 'I'm shooting a movie in Pittsburgh. I'll fly you out and… — Pete Holmes Copy Share
Religion often is very embarrassing, and I totally get it. So I am sort of sometimes burdened with the fact that I love talking… — Pete Holmes Copy Share
When it comes to being called a pronoun, sometimes I like to call other people 'me.' I go, like, 'Oh, these mes voted for… — Pete Holmes Copy Share
Why do we say 'Have a great weekend?' That's just a spell. You're just going - I have no control over your weekend. But… — Pete Holmes Copy Share
The biggest idea of a good time for me is making the Batman videos that we did. That is my ideal day. That is… — Pete Holmes Copy Share
Science would like to tell us that people laugh because of the benign violation theory, but comedy doesn't have hard rules. — Pete Holmes Copy Share
I mostly do faces and sounds. That's what I do. Comedy doesn't have to be art. — Pete Holmes Copy Share
Comedians really are like a species. That's not to be exclusive. Anyone can kind of become one. You have to pay your dues, though. — Pete Holmes Copy Share
When I got divorced, the first people I called were Nick Kroll and John Mulaney and T. J. Miller - all the pals. — Pete Holmes Copy Share
Sometimes I liken the comedian's lifestyle a little bit to a firefighter's in the sense that there's a lot of waiting and a lot… — Pete Holmes Copy Share
