You can't have an honest fourth grade school teacher. Mr. and Mrs. Jones, Johnny, your son, your only child, the fruit of your loin, is a moron. I have no idea how this kid finds a door to get out… — Dom Irrera Copy Share Image
I don't understand people who go to amusement parks. I spend most of my time trying NOT to be nauseous. 'Excuse me, could you… — Dom Irrera Copy Share Image
Well, I am not always joking, sometimes I am serious. But some people always expect you to be funny. If you were like you… — Dom Irrera Copy Share Image
Nobody needs a cookie. You will never get your lab results back, Well, apparently, Miss Bexim what you need - and I am a… — Dom Irrera Copy Share Image
I was an actor in college and it was much easier than being a waiter. I thought it was fun to get paid. People… — Dom Irrera Copy Share Image
My whole family, all they talk about is food and disease. And they're competitive with illness: I have a cold. I wish I had… — Dom Irrera Copy Share Image
My cousin Louie, we walk into a bar, and he says, Dom, I think that waitress knows me. What do you think she knows,… — Dom Irrera Copy Share Image
My father never cheated on my mother. He used to cheat on me. He used to pick other kids after school. Take them to… — Dom Irrera Copy Share Image
Everyone always says, Does it bother you that Italians are always portrayed as Mafia characters? No, it doesn't bother me. First of all, not… — Dom Irrera Copy Share Image
I think boxing is an incredible sport and I would like to see it really become regulated because I think it could bring back… — Dom Irrera Copy Share Image
I want to be a bloated alcoholic. That's my goal - it is, I'm serious, because there is no other disease that is more… — Dom Irrera Copy Share Image
You ever get sick and one of your friends gives you medical advice? And they tell you that they're not a doctor - like… — Dom Irrera Copy Share Image
I love that red wine is good for you. Isn't that cool? I want to hear more of this. I want to hear more… — Dom Irrera Copy Share Image
