You might be a redneck if Quotes · Page 3

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new…

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

— Jeff Foxworthy