You might be a redneck if Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy · Page 2

You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs…

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

— Jeff Foxworthy