“Today, as adults, we know that our efforts were exploited, that this was not love in the true sense of the word. So why do we ultimately expect love from people who, for whatever reason, were unable to love us… — Alice Miller Copy Share
Almost everywhere we find . . . the use of various coercive measures, to rid ourselves as quickly as possible of the child withinus--i.e.,… — Alice Miller Copy Share Image
Wherever I look, I see signs of the commandment to honor one's parents and nowhere of a commandment that calls for the respect of… — Alice Miller Copy Share Image
The art of not experiencing feelings. A child can experience her feelings only when there is somebody there who accepts her fully, understands her,… — Alice Miller Copy Share Image
“Even if one ultimately risks losing all contact with oneself and merely functioning as a mask, an "as if" personality, there are always drugs, alcohol, and other substances to fall back on. Derision pays well; money is no object. Alcohol helps to keep us in a good mood, and stronger drugs do so even more effectively. But because these emotions… — Alice Miller Copy Share
“Thus he spent his whole life searching for his own truth, but it remained hidden to him because he had learned at a very young age to hate himself for what his mother had done to him. (...) But not once did he allow himself to direct his endless, justified rage at the true culprit, the woman who had kept… — Alice Miller Copy Share
“Most people do exactly the opposite. Without realizing that the past is constantly determining their present actions, they avoid learning anything about their history. They continue to live in their repressed childhood situation, ignoring the fact that it no longer exists. They are continuing to fear and avoid dangers that, although once real, have not been real for a long… — Alice Miller Copy Share
People who, as children, were intellectually far beyond their parents and therefore admired by them, but who also therefore had to solve their own problems alone. These people, who give us a feeling of their intellectual strength and will power, also seem to demand that we, too, ought to fight off any feeling of weakness with intellectual means. In their… — Alice Miller Copy Share
Parents are indeed capable of routinely torturing their children without anyone interceding. — Alice Miller Copy Share Image
Ultimately the body will rebel. Even if it can be temporarily pacified with the help of drugs, cigarettes or medicine, it usually has the last word because it is quicker to see through self-deception than the mind. We may ignore or deride the messages of the body, but its rebellion demands to be heeded because its language is the authentic… — Alice Miller Copy Share
The child has a primary need to be regarded and respected as the person he really is at any given time, and as the… — Alice Miller Copy Share Image
For some years now, there has been proof that the devastating effects of the traumatization of children take their inevitable tollon society--a fact that… — Alice Miller Copy Share Image
