War Quotes by Terry Pratchett

“The point is not to avoid the war, it is to win it.”

— Terry Pratchett

The Battle of Koom Valley is the only one known to history where both sides ambushed each other.

— Terry Pratchett

History, contrary to popular theories, is kings and dates and battles.

— Terry Pratchett

Once upon a time the plural of 'wizard' was 'war'.

— Terry Pratchett

“The forces of darkness must be beaten. You seem to be under a misapprehension. The point is not to avoid the war,…

— Terry Pratchett

“Do you need an excuse to have a war? I mean, who for? Can't you just say "You got lots of cash…

— Terry Pratchett

Although the scythe isn't pre-eminent among the weapons of war, anyone who has been on the wrong end of, say, a peasants'…

— Terry Pratchett

“The precise origins of the Mage Wars have been lost in the fogs of Time, but Disc philosophers agree that the First…

— Terry Pratchett

The conflict is not between Christianity and Islam or between East and West - instead, it is between stupid people and other…

— Terry Pratchett

Peace?' said Vetinari. 'Ah, yes, defined as period of time to allow for preparation for the next war.

— Terry Pratchett

Winners never talk about glorious victories. Thats because they're the ones who see what the battle field looks like afterwards. Its only…

— Terry Pratchett

“The face you wear in a battlefield should be a solemn one until the time when things are cleaned up and the…

— Terry Pratchett

“Sacharissa saw a movement. Boddony had pulled his axe out from under the bench. It was a traditional dwarf axe. One side…

— Terry Pratchett

Putting up a statue to someone who tried to stop a war is not very, um, statuesque. Of course, if you had…

— Terry Pratchett

The Four Horsemen whose Ride presages the end of the world are known to be Death, War, Famine, and Pestilence. But even…

— Terry Pratchett

He's probably their battle poet, too." "You mean he makes up heroic songs about famous battles?" "No, no. He recites poems that…

— Terry Pratchett

Your average witch is not, by nature, a social animal as far as other witches are concerned. There's a conflict of dominant…

— Terry Pratchett

“According to the history books, the decisive battle that ended the Ankh-Morpork Civil War was fought between two handfuls of bone-weary men…

— Terry Pratchett

“Are we entirely ready, sir?" said Lieutenant Hornett, with the special inflection that means "We are not entirely ready, sir." "We had…

— Terry Pratchett

“You fight a war to change the world, and it changes into a world with no place in it for you, the…

— Terry Pratchett

“You know it’s going to be Mary the Maid, or someone like her, and there’s going to be two men and she…

— Terry Pratchett

“There is a lot of folklore about equestrian statues, especially the ones with riders on them. There is said to be a…

— Terry Pratchett

I mean, you're right about the fire and war, all that. But that Rapture stuff--well, if you could see them all in…

— Terry Pratchett

“One of my ancestors fought in the War of the Roses“, she announced haughtily, without looking round, “and in those wars you…

— Terry Pratchett

“How big a war?" "A worse one than the one fifty years ago, I expect," said Cheery. "I don't recall people talking…

— Terry Pratchett

“Five damn days, that battle took," said Truckle, "'cos the Duchess was doing a tapestry to commemorate it, right? We had to…

— Terry Pratchett

Sybil's female forebears had valiantly backed up their husbands as distant embassies were besieged, had given birth on a camel or in…

— Terry Pratchett

You are very clever,' said the old man shyly. 'I would like to eat your brains, one day,' For some reason the…

— Terry Pratchett

“Fortune favours the brave, sir," said Carrot cheerfully. "Good. Good. Pleased to hear it, captain. What is her position vis a vis…

— Terry Pratchett

“I am a harmless old seller of apples," she said, in a voice more appropriate for the opening of hostilities in a…

— Terry Pratchett

Now that their long war was over, they could get on with the proper concern of all civilised nations, which is to…

— Terry Pratchett

“Now we have travelled a hundred million steps from the Datum, we are finding life systems entirely unlike our own - and…

— Terry Pratchett

It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could,…

— Terry Pratchett

It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Alzheimer's you are…

— Terry Pratchett

Most armies are in fact run by their sergeants - the officers are there just to give things a bit of tone…

— Terry Pratchett

“I never understood that story, anyway,” said Nanny. “I mean, if I knew I’d got a heel that would kill me if…

— Terry Pratchett

I don't believe in the war god of the Israelites. He's a bogeyman. Jesus preached the golden rule, by and large.

— Terry Pratchett

“What really causes wars is two sides that can’t stand the sight of one another and the pressure builds up and up…

— Terry Pratchett

“Afterward, there was that long, crowded pause in which everyone decides that although they are very shaken, and possibly upside down, they…

— Terry Pratchett

“Men marched away, Vimes. And men marched back. How glorious the battles would have been that they never had to fight!”

— Terry Pratchett