I hate waking up every morning to my alarm. I always bang my head on the steering wheel. — Scott Wood Copy Share Image
When it came to spankings, my dad never used a belt. One time he grabbed a piece of my Hot Wheels race car track.… — Scott Wood Copy Share Image
I joined a health spa recently. They had a sign for "Free Weights." So I took a couple. — Scott Wood Copy Share Image
I just recently had my Visa card stolen. Right now, it's everywhere I want to be. — Scott Wood Copy Share Image
The Heimlich maneuver works on house pets. My pit bull was choking on his dinner. I squeezed his stomach and the neighbor's cat shot… — Scott Wood Copy Share Image
I hate waking up every morning to my alarm. I always bang my head on the steering wheel. — Scott Wood Copy Share Image
