I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I didn't like being spoken to in that voice. — Stewart Francis Copy Share Image
Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets...then it hit me — Stewart Francis Copy Share Image
I don't think lesbians should be allowed to use dildos, afterall they've made their choice — Stewart Francis Copy Share Image
Allyson Smith reminds me of a younger, prettier, funnier me. Now if you'll excuse me, the ladies from my bridge club have arrived. — Stewart Francis Copy Share Image
My dad has a weird hobby; he collects empty bottles... which sounds so much better than "alcoholic." — Stewart Francis Copy Share Image
So what if I can't spell Armaggedon? ... it's not the end of the world. — Stewart Francis Copy Share Image
I went to a Karaoke Bar last night that didn't play any 70s music, at first I was afriad, oh I was petrified — Stewart Francis Copy Share Image
Receiving oral sex from an ugly person is like rock climbing; you should never look down. — Stewart Francis Copy Share Image
Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West — Stewart Francis Copy Share Image
I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I didn't like being spoken to in that voice. — Stewart Francis Copy Share Image
Even though I'm proud by dad invented the rear-view mirror, we're not as close as we appear. — Stewart Francis Copy Share Image
