Twitter bios Quotes

Another papercut survivor.

— Anonymous

A human. Being.

— Anonymous

Buddy, can you paradigm?

— Anonymous

Nice guys finish lunch.

— Anonymous

Born at a very young age.

— Anonymous

Im real and I hope some of my followers are too.

— Anonymous

Trying to change the name from Tweeting to Gregging.

— Anonymous

Let me bitch at you every day until you sort your shit out.

— Anonymous

Winner of Worlds Best Wife Award. Category; Nagging.

— Anonymous

When I tweet, I tweet to kill.

— Anonymous

Puttin the elation in Public Relations

— Anonymous

Im not smart. I just wear glasses.

— Anonymous

Former military guy & cop. Leprechauns freak me out.

— Anonymous

Maybe I should rethink this, when I spelled it Blooging at first.

— Anonymous

A man of mystery and power, whose power is exceeded only by his mystery.

— Anonymous

Currently starring in my own reality show titled, A Modern Cinderella; One Girls Search for Love and Shoes.

— Anonymous

Im going to reveal the two secrets of my success: One; Dont reveal everything.

— Anonymous

Absolutely awkward, proud nerd & geek, decreaser of world suck.

— Anonymous

Im really a giant cupcake. Afraid of roller coasters and dry ice.

— Anonymous

Im 25% mom 25% comedian 62% boobs 48% mathematician and 100% woman-monkey.

— Anonymous

99% of the time my brain is thinking blah, meh, why, huh, WTF, food and computers. The other 1% I'm usually asleep.

— Anonymous

Living one day at a time, with a fresh baked cookie. Okay. And with a coffee. And maybe some chocolate. But I…

— Anonymous

You know the burnt-out college student in front of you in line at Target who was intermittently chuckling to herself? Nice to…

— Anonymous

Why talk when you can mock? Why hide your Face like I got Mace? Is it all an act or just a…

— Anonymous

Nerdfighter. Determined dreamer. Has ambitions to be crazy cat lady if marrying various celebrity crushes proves impossible.

— Anonymous

Making the Snuggie look good since 2009.

— Anonymous

Where the hell am I, and how did I get here?

— Anonymous

Insert pretentious crap about myself here.

— Anonymous

Will show ankle for five minutes of wireless.

— Anonymous

Lover of pork, runner...cause of all the pork.

— Anonymous

Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.

— Anonymous

Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper.

— Anonymous

Im fabulous. Im an incredible dresser, Ive got buckets of money, Im a hoot and a half and I got a killer…

— Anonymous

HOLY CRAP IM GOING TO BE A DAD! Oh yea, I work in email marketing & I like craft beer too.

— Anonymous

Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.

— Anonymous

So much time. So little to do. Wait a minute. Scratch that. Reverse it. Thank you.

— Anonymous

Writer and tequila drinker living in the heart of wine country. It's wine, people, not the ejaculate of Christ.

— Anonymous

I used to love my old twitter account, then everyone from work found me. This is my new account.

— Anonymous

90% of your problems can be solved by marketing. Solving the other 10% just requires good procrastination skills.

— Anonymous

I once sneezed a beenie weenie through my nose. I also made a horse faint in Costa Rica.

— Anonymous