Twitter bios Quotes

Nice guys finish lunch.

— Anonymous

Born at a very young age.

— Anonymous

A human. Being.

— Anonymous

Another papercut survivor.

— Anonymous

Buddy, can you paradigm?

— Anonymous

Where the hell am I, and how did I get here?

— Anonymous

Former military guy & cop. Leprechauns freak me out.

— Anonymous

Making the Snuggie look good since 2009.

— Anonymous

Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.

— Anonymous

Lover of pork, runner...cause of all the pork.

— Anonymous

Will show ankle for five minutes of wireless.

— Anonymous

Insert pretentious crap about myself here.

— Anonymous

Let me bitch at you every day until you sort your shit out.

— Anonymous

Coffee-Drinker, eReader Addict, Mom, Blogger. Im very busy and important.

— Anonymous

Im Kail, I was given a girls name when I was a baby because my parents are idiots.

— Anonymous

Generally, the path of least resistance appeals. Also, I am superb at parallel parking.

— Anonymous

Ive never been a millionaire but I just know Id be darling at it.

— Anonymous

Im just a boy, standing in front of the world, asking you to follow me.

— Anonymous

Im a Basset Hound aficionado with a mouth like a Syphilitic sailor.

— Anonymous

I once sneezed a beenie weenie through my nose. I also made a horse faint in Costa Rica.

— Anonymous

90% of your problems can be solved by marketing. Solving the other 10% just requires good procrastination skills.

— Anonymous

Why talk when you can mock? Why hide your Face like I got Mace? Is it all an act or just a…

— Anonymous

You know the burnt-out college student in front of you in line at Target who was intermittently chuckling to herself? Nice to…

— Anonymous

Nerdfighter. Determined dreamer. Has ambitions to be crazy cat lady if marrying various celebrity crushes proves impossible.

— Anonymous

Living one day at a time, with a fresh baked cookie. Okay. And with a coffee. And maybe some chocolate. But I…

— Anonymous

Trying to change the name from Tweeting to Gregging.

— Anonymous

Im real and I hope some of my followers are too.

— Anonymous

Im not smart. I just wear glasses.

— Anonymous

Puttin the elation in Public Relations

— Anonymous

When I tweet, I tweet to kill.

— Anonymous

Winner of Worlds Best Wife Award. Category; Nagging.

— Anonymous

I used to love my old twitter account, then everyone from work found me. This is my new account.

— Anonymous

Ive learned I dont know anything. Have also learned that people will pay for what I know. Life is good.

— Anonymous

I have been called a PollyAnna, sugar-coated idealist. I like to think of myself as more optimistic than that.

— Anonymous

Do not judge me before you know me, but just to inform you, you wont like me.

— Anurag Prakash Ray

Currently working towards an MBA with an emphasis in fantasy football.

— Anonymous

I recently gave up Warcraft so my productivity, and drinking, have increased dramatically.

— Anonymous

A man with a dream. A very simple dream, mostly involving nachos and beer, but a dream nonetheless.

— Marc MacKenzie

Im going to reveal the two secrets of my success: One; Dont reveal everything.

— Anonymous

Currently starring in my own reality show titled, A Modern Cinderella; One Girls Search for Love and Shoes.

— Anonymous