A store in Houston is selling Donald Trump piñatas filled with candy. So finally something good is going to come out of… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Jeb Bush welcomed his fourth grandchild. The new Bush grandchild is happy, healthy, and will be running for president in 2048. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Today Donald Trump reaffirmed his stance against gay marriage. Trump said marriage is between a rich guy and his much younger third… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In Montana, a math teacher is running for the Senate. Win or lose, she plans on demanding a recount because math is… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Today, possible presidential candidate Donald Trump released his birth certificate. It lists his eyes as blue and his hair as ridiculous. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
When it comes to being visionary in stealing, the Republicans do better than anybody. It's really something to see. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton is now driving from New York to Iowa. It's been called the least-exciting spring break trip in history. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
According to a CNN poll, Trump nearly doubled his support from March. Actually, he just combed his March numbers over his current… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Today the Washington Post did an article; they compared the 2008 presidential election to the 1932 presidential election. They did a comparison,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Herman Cain has moved ahead of Mitt Romney. Can you believe that? Political analysts say this is because Americans don't understand Mormonism… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Political analysts are saying that as a candidate, Donald Trump is 'a totally unqualified nuisance.' In other words, he is a legitimate… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new Republican Congress is taking over. Sen. Ted Cruz has been appointed tooverseeing NASA in Congress. He says he wants NASA… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Gary Busey said on the Today Show yesterday that Donald Trump would make a great President. Now Trump just needs endorsements from… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Yesterday, after the Thanksgiving parade, Donald Trump appeared at Macy's to promote his new line of fragrances and business suits. Unfortunately, there… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Marco Rubio announced he's running for president. Fun fact: Marco Rubio's wife is a former Miami Dolphins cheerleader. In other words, she… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People all over the world now are following our election. And according to a new international poll that just came out, I… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
There is some good news for John McCain. According to the latest polls, which came out today, John McCain has started to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People are already talking about the next presidential election. There's stories all over about who might run. At a recent speech, a… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Barack Obama, you know has a lot of supporters here in America, but he's very popular internationally. It's quite interesting. This is… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Donald Trump announced today he is running for president of the United States. Traditionally that means six more weeks of comedy. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
NBC executives say that if Donald Trump does run for president, they will not renew The Apprentice. So some good may come… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Tomorrow is Election Day. That's the day we Americans wake up, consider our options, and then remember we didn't register to vote. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Mexico's No. 1 drug lord has escaped from prison and may be headed to the U.S. So Donald Trump was wrong. They… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Trump Entertainment Resorts declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Or as Donald Trump describes Chapter 11, "Back-to-back number ones!" — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Donald Trump is not running for president. This is devastating news for Trump's supporters - all of whom are late night comedians. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
According to a new poll, nearly six out of 10 Republicans want Mitt Romney to run for president. So do 10 out of 10 Democrats. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Donald Trump has fired a campaign adviser for posting racist remarks on Facebook. Isn't that shocking? Donald Trump has a campaign adviser. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Earlier today, President Bush said Kerry will be a tough and hard-charging opponent. That explains why Bush's nickname for Kerry is math. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
All the major networks declared Barack Obama the winner at 11 last night, except for MSNBC, which declared Obama the winner six… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
At the State of the Union address last night, President Obama made history by using the words transgender, lesbian, and bisexual in… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
First Lady Michelle Obama has posted an exercise video of her beating up a punching bag. But don't worry, Vice President Biden… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Chris Christie said he will top Donald Trump's Iowa State Fair helicopter entrance by riding in on a pony. As a result,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
At his campaign launch, Donald Trump apparently paid extras $50 to cheer for him at the rally. Trump said, 'Usually when I… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Earlier tonight the second Republican debate took place here in California. With 10 men and only one woman, everyone thought they were… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Lindsey Graham is now the seventh Republican running for president. If you're keeping score, that's basically one Republican candidate for every two… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Senator John Kerry is in trouble for making a joke about soldiers being uneducated. As a result, Kerry promised to stop making… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama , I guess, is starting to confess to some of his anxieties. In a recent interview, President Obama said, 'I… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People are mad a Donald Trump for allegedly making a joke about Megyn Kelly having her period. Trump said, 'Trust me, I… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
“Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.” — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
President Obama filled in as the coach of his daughter Sasha's basketball team. Sasha evidently listened to her Dad, because all she did was… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
President Obama and Vladimir Putin are both in China attending the same economic summit. Obama saw Putin and said, 'After those midterms, it's nice… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
