One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper, up until this point, always just existed. And now it's a finite resource, constantly in danger of extinction, that must… — Kelly Williams Brown Copy Share Image
“But it has perks -- personal pride, financial security, and the feeling of accomplishment and control that comes when you just swap in a new toilet paper roll rather than resorting to fast-food napkins.” — Kelly Williams Brown Copy Share Image
“Wise random strangers at bars are modern-day Oracles of Delphi, except drunk and sometimes leaving abruptly when it's their turn for karaoke.” — Kelly Williams Brown Copy Share Image
“If we were all our most real and raw selves every moment of the day things would be just awful. The world would be… — Kelly Williams Brown Copy Share Image
“Be the kind of friend that you want to have. This is what it all boils down to. Listen when they bitch. Tell them they'll be okay. Go over and check in on their cat when they're on vacation. Call them on their birthday, or better yet bake a cake in the shape of their initial. Keep their secrets. Treat… — Kelly Williams Brown Copy Share
One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper, up until this point,… — Kelly Williams Brown Copy Share Image
“But the fact is people who always have at least a quarter tank of gas and refill the tank as soon as it dips… — Kelly Williams Brown Copy Share Image
“There's an incredible Tupac song that does not mince words in its hook: "Motherfucker, watch ya mouth." Granted, Tupac is issuing threats to associates of a mid-1990s hip-hop label, but these are still powerful words to take with you wherever you go. Just because there is an idea bouncing around in your head does not mean it needs to be… — Kelly Williams Brown Copy Share
It is hard to convince people of this, but oatmeal truly is miraculous. It gives you an amazing amount of energy, like cocaine. — Kelly Williams Brown Copy Share Image
A slightly modified version of the Serenity Prayer: Lord, grant me the serenity to ignore the assholes I cannot avoid; The luck to avoid… — Kelly Williams Brown Copy Share Image
“Your parents, presumably, love you very much and think you are perhaps the most adorable, talented thing ever to prance upon this earth. Your friends agree with them, as do your favorite teachers, as does your significant other. When there is a You Parade, these people will be the flag bearers, the drum majors and majorettes, so make sure you… — Kelly Williams Brown Copy Share
Meaning to send a thank-you note but then not doing it is exactly the same as never thinking to send one - that person… — Kelly Williams Brown Copy Share Image
You're a grown up, and you get to decide what behaviors affect you for five minutes versus what behaviors change you as a person. — Kelly Williams Brown Copy Share Image
“But it has perks -- personal pride, financial security, and the feeling of accomplishment and control that comes when you just swap in a… — Kelly Williams Brown Copy Share Image
