“Five years, my family thinks it's time I moved on. I'd like to move on with a non-asshole” — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“Our new intern sorts pot shards like some kind of savant. The other interns call himi Rain Man.” — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“I pray to a God I don't really have faith in just so I feel like I have company.” — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“Please don't' ask me how I feel about it. If I had to pick a word, I'd say homicidal.” — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“Just so we're clear, I dont' secretly want to have sex with either of my parents. Me either. I worked through that in college… — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“Do you realize you're talking to yourself? Yes. It's good that you know the difference.” — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“I have two choices: attend my sister's dinner party or tie a plastic sack around my mother's head until she runs out of ngagging.… — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“It's old. Really old. Is that a technical term? Yeah, it's technical. Translation: I don't know how old it is, but it's really fucking… — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
