Anytime I see someone blocking the aisle in the supermarket while talking on a phone, I want to ram that person with my shopping cart. — Richard Turner Copy Share Image
Self-Checkout Line – The place where customers of an establishment become unpaid employees of the establishment. — Richard Turner Copy Share
I'm a woofer, not a tweeter; a writer, not a telegrapher; an essayist, not an aphorist. — Richard Turner Copy Share Image
I am at a loss to figure out how to rid my e-mail of those bottom-feeders of the electronic world, the generators of spam… If I were Emperor of the World, I would lock all the spammers in a room and force them to watch nothing but TV commercials for the rest of their miserable lives, and I would condemn… — Richard Turner Copy Share
Speed Limit – A sign that tells you at what speed the car that's rapidly fading from view in your rearview mirror is going;… — Richard Turner Copy Share Image
Grammar Checker – A software program that is not needed by those who know grammar and virtually useless for those who don’t. — Richard Turner Copy Share Image
“The sound of sporadic gunfire echoing through the narrow streets of Dublin sounded to ten-year-old Patrick Murphy like the rolling thunder from a summer… — Richard Turner Copy Share Image
Mudslinging - In politics, anything bad the opponent says about our candidate; in contrast, when our candidate does this, it is called 'making a… — Richard Turner Copy Share Image
Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function. — Richard Turner Copy Share Image
“In the blink of an eye, the ship dropped out of faster than light travel and came to an almost dead stop five hundred… — Richard Turner Copy Share Image
Anytime I see someone blocking the aisle in the supermarket while talking on a phone, I want to ram that person with my shopping… — Richard Turner Copy Share Image
