There is an old motto that runs, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." This is nonsense. It ought to read, "If at first you don't succeed, quit, quit at once." — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
My parents migrated to Canada in 1876, and I decided to go with them. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
You frequently ask, where are the friends of your childhood, and urge that they shall be brought back to you. As far as I… — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
The parent who could see his boy as he really is, would shake his head and say: 'Willie is no good; I'll sell him. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
It's called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
How can you shorten the subject? That stern struggle with the multiplication table, for many people not yet ended in victory, how can you… — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
A silk dress in four sections, and shoes with high heels that would have broken the heart of John Calvin. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life, and the artistic expression thereof. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
A lone maple leaf resting on sand Have you ever been out for a late autumn walk in the closing part of the afternoon,… — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
“Suppose a would-be writer can't begin? I really believe there are many excellent writers who have never written because they never could begin. This… — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who… — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
The writing of solid, instructive stuff fortified by facts and figures is easy enough. There is no trouble in writing a scientific treatise on… — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
