I'm sorry I'm not more cultured. I'll watch PBS. And cut people open for fun. Will that be better? Will you be less embarrassed to be my fledgling then? — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
I am sorry the only outlet for her troubled mind was in clumsy foreplay with an inadequate partner." He threw the rest of her sandwich at the swinging door as she passed through it. — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
If I venture into the water in a bikini, the sight of my melanin-deficient Michigan belly might attract beluga whales. Sure, I could secretly… — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
Its far easier to brush off death if the death in question seems impossible or improbable as a personal threat. — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
Occasionally, the horrors of life in North Korea do show up in our American satire. — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
Because Melissa McCarthy actually is a fat woman, she isnt allowed to make brash statements about body acceptance. She has to apologize for her… — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
Every child deserves to see themselves in stories they can enjoy, but it isn't the place of white people to decide how and why… — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
I have to go. I have a finite amount of life left and I don't want to spend it arguing with you. — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
It was the damnedest thing, life. Once you decide exactly how things are going to go, something or someone comes along and messes it… — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
“You know, there comes a time in everyone's life when they have to carefully examine the goals they've set for themselves. When they have… — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
“I glanced down at the dumbbel and pictures it flying across the room- at his face. But it was sch a nice face, andI'd… — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
I'd never been a good damsel in distress. I was a "hands-on" damsel. — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
“What?” I whined, and tried to push his hands away. He cursed and gripped me tighter. “Wake up!” he yelled. When I didn’t, he… — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
Social media reactions to celebrity death have taken on a predictable pattern: an outpouring of shock with expressions of grief, followed by a ghoulish… — Jennifer Armintrout Copy Share Image
