If you're one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
36 years old is significant, because at 36 you can sleep with someone half your age and not go to jail. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Job Application, if this is an entry level position, how am I supposed to have previous experience... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Are you mad at me?' Nooooo, I'm actually happy that you broke my heart and hurt me… — Blondie Copy Share Image
He chances of meeting someone with Barbie's human-scale measurements (36-18-33) is 1 in 100,000. The chances of meeting someone with Ken's is 1 in 50. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*ck off. What good is a goddamn… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
