“I'd probably put those salt and pepper shakers away now, David, because we're about to be visited by dribbling cannibal psychopath and we wouldn't want to tease these fellows. Of course, if they're very hungry, I do have this left… — Garret Keizer Copy Share Image
“I'd probably put those salt and pepper shakers away now, David, because we're about to be visited by dribbling cannibal psychopath and we wouldn't… — Garret Keizer Copy Share Image
“Teachers who complain 'These kids have no work ethic' couldn't be farther off the mark. The problem is not that these kids lack a… — Garret Keizer Copy Share Image
“If God came to India, he'd have to come as bread. If God came to Willoughby union he'd have to came as what?” — Garret Keizer Copy Share Image
“If you can sustain the insight that people are doing the best they can--if you can maintain some faith that this is an insight--you're… — Garret Keizer Copy Share Image
“People in the city are poor because they are oppressed, discriminated against and alienated; people in the country are poor because they're too stupid… — Garret Keizer Copy Share Image
“Our advertising and even our arts convey the idea that we [Americans] as a society are brash, irreverent, and free of all constraint, when… — Garret Keizer Copy Share Image
“I try to remember what I have too often forgotten to my peril: as far as teaching goes, when all you are is right,… — Garret Keizer Copy Share Image
“Everyone believes in sin, the people who charge their peers with political incorrectness and the people who regard political correctness as the bogey of… — Garret Keizer Copy Share Image
“We inculcate in our children the sensibilities of raccoons, a fascination with shiny objects and an appetite for garbage, and then carp about 'the… — Garret Keizer Copy Share Image