When he said to give him the sword, I don’t think he meant for you to stick it in his guts. — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
That’s what a skinwalker is: a mean asshole with a meaner spirit squatting inside.” "I’ve run into some of those at the… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
I hoped you would consider it seriously instead of laughing at it.' 'Mr. Chamkanni said much the same thing in bed the… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
You will respect my authori-tah!' Oberon said, in a passable imitation of Eric Cartman. I reminded him that I needed to concentrate.… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Ye know what me Sean used to say, God rest his soul? He said, 'A friend will help ye move, Katie, but… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Peace be with you," I said, and as I turned to resume my journey with Coyote, I added under my breath, "and… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Aw, no. You’re taking us to that vegetarian place, aren’t you? It’s a coffee place. You can’t just automatically classify anything that… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
The widow’s eyebrows raised. “Ye’ve got all these nasty pooches to run around with and ye still might die?” “I’m going to… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
She's kind of like a Mary Poppins just before she turns to the dark side of the Force," Oberon said. He was… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
That is a noble idea, though I think it far to generous," Jupiter said. "Once a decade should be sufficient." "I would… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Thank you, Morrigan. This is very helpful,” I said, already feeling myself warming up. “And delivered to me entirely without pain.” The… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Wooo!’ he said, slamming his shot glass down and coughing a bit. ‘That’s good stuff.’ I agreed heartily. ‘Shall we do another… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Oh noes, kitteh haz major angriez!” I said. I turned around to share a laugh with my companions and found them glaring… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Oh. Oberon looked at me. I know that has to make you sad. But call to me instead, Atticus. I'll always answer.… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
For me, the times I always regret are missed opportunities to say farewell to good people, to wish them long life and… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Here is how you know someone has had a good idea: Other people freely admit to their friends that said idea has… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Granuaile looked terminally depressed when she emerged from the bathroom with raven hair and, as a result rather Goth by accident. She… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Like many silly codes of bravery and manliness, the meat of my father’s instruction on how to die well can be distilled to a… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“Hence the reason I encourage you to believe what you wish. The heaven of teh Pastafarians is supposed to have beer volcanoes, which sounds… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
Awesome! I'd just bullied Jesus into doing a shot with me. Nobody would ever believe it, but I didn't care. We ordered the insanely… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“I thought for the longest time that chicken-fried steak was steak that had been fried by specially trained chickens,” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
When he said to give him the sword, I don’t think he meant for you to stick it in his guts. — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“No. See, when you throw up you're vomiting, but when you throw down you're starting a fight, as in throwing down the gauntlet." "Ohhhh,"… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“The grin on his face wasn’t the affable, friendly sort; instead, it was the sociopathic rictus of the irretrievably, bug-fuckeringly insane” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“What sealed the deal for me was that the cloak wouldn't come off without a generous donation of my tears. Those used to be… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
On a Creep Scale from Hello Kitty to Cthulhu, I award it a Freddy Krueger. Granuaile MacTiernan — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“So this means you're spoiling me right?" Can't Help it. You're the best hound ever. Oberon's tail thumped a few times and his mouth… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share
“Out, out, thou strumpet Fortune!" I cried with all the venom of Charlton Heston. Oberon asked. "It's a Shakespearean word for whore." ” — kevin hearne Copy Share
