If the Cowardly Lion were on RuPaul’s Drag Race, so much of my childhood would be less nightmarish. — Julie Klausner Copy Share Image
I've tried open-ended jobs and found myself incredibly unhappy. I don't like the monomania of showing up every day and doing the same thing.… — Julie Klausner Copy Share Image
When I first started on Twitter, a relative asked, 'Aren't you concerned with giving away your jokes?' I don't think of it that way.… — Julie Klausner Copy Share Image
I have never been one for musicians. I know girls are supposed to go crazy for frontmen who close their eyes when they sing… — Julie Klausner Copy Share Image
“Pam (from The Office) is not intimidating, like one of those women who wears makeup and tailored clothes, and has a good job that she enjoys, and confidence, and an adult woman's sexuality. There's nothing scary about Pam, because there's no mystery; she's just like the boys who like her; mousy and shy. The ultimate emo-boy fantasy is to meet… — Julie Klausner Copy Share
In all seriousness, I don't get people who need to make a proposal a bigger deal than marriage already is. — Julie Klausner Copy Share Image
What else don’t women like besides the Three Stooges? Tom Waits. Being hurt physically or emotionally. — Julie Klausner Copy Share Image
I think when it comes to women who write or who fancy ourselves 'hip downtown literati', there is a certain contempt for being overly… — Julie Klausner Copy Share Image
“But more than anything, as a little girl, I wanted to be exactly like Miss Piggy. She was ma heroine. I was a plucky little girl, but I never related to the rough-and-tumble icons of children's lit, like Pippi Longstocking or Harriet the Spy. Even Ramona Quimby, who seemed cool, wasn't somebody I could super-relate to. She was scrawny and… — Julie Klausner Copy Share
It’s important to remember that Mark David Chapman really set a lot of trends: such as the trend of celebrities having bodyguards. — Julie Klausner Copy Share Image
I look forward to the day when being called 'another Monica Lewinsky' refers to the hard work behind a master's degree in social psychology… — Julie Klausner Copy Share Image
If you are making money writing, you are doing great. If you can support yourself writing, you are a success. I don't care if… — Julie Klausner Copy Share Image
The only thing that's a challenge for me is not working. I get depressed when I'm not in motion. — Julie Klausner Copy Share Image
