Joan Collins unfortunately can't be with us tonight. She's busy attending the birth of her next husband. — John Parrott Copy Share Image
She needs open-heart surgery, and they should go in through her feet. — Julie Andrews Copy Share Image
Kelsey Grammer has launched his own website to refute stories about him in the tabloids. — Andy Waits Copy Share Image
He must be the only man alive who can eat an apple through a tennis racket. — Gary Lineker Copy Share Image
Some refer to it as a cultural Chernobyl. I think of it as a cultural Stalingrad. — JGBallard Copy Share Image
The right honourable gentleman is reminiscent of a poker. The only difference is that a poker gives off the occasional signs of… — Benjamin Disraeli Copy Share Image
She's got a great looking husband, a little boy and all the money in the world. She hasn't got the looks, but… — Jordan Copy Share Image
While he was talking at Baylor University, President Bush said, Times are kind of tough. He also pointed out that Bill Gates… — Andy Waits Copy Share Image
Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
He's the kind of guy that when he dies, he's going up to heaven and give God a bad time for making… — Marlon Brando Copy Share Image
