“Just don't fall into a tanning bed. These machines are for vapid, narcissistic, idiots who have barren vacuums where their thoughts, fears, and passions should be. Spending time in a tanning bed will only earn you the appearance and intellect… — Matthew Inman Copy Share Image
“Crunches are an exercise where you lie on your back and angrily try to head-butt your crotch.” — Matthew Inman Copy Share Image
“ marathon: (noun) A popular form of overpriced torture wherein participants wake up at ass-o-clock in the morning and stand in the freezing cold… — Matthew Inman Copy Share Image
“I want to hurt, so I can heal. I'm not unhappy. I'm just busy. I'm interested. And that's okay.” — Matthew Inman Copy Share Image
“It was on this day, during this terrible and wonderful run, that a thought occurred to me, a thought which has never left me"… — Matthew Inman Copy Share Image
“Just don't fall into a tanning bed. These machines are for vapid, narcissistic, idiots who have barren vacuums where their thoughts, fears, and passions… — Matthew Inman Copy Share Image
“They say you should treat your body like a temple. I treat mine like a fast-moving dumpster.” — Matthew Inman Copy Share Image
