My mom says I have to be more positive, and I say life has to be more positive too or it's just not going to work. — Jane Wagner Copy Share Image
I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. — Jane Wagner Copy Share
When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic. — Jane Wagner Copy Share
Ahhhhhhhh. There is nothing natural about natural childbirth. It is as close to a freak accident as anything I can think of. Why I… — Jane Wagner Copy Share
You don't know what it's like! Hyperactive twins! When they turned three, my doctor prescribed Ritalin -- I wouldn't dream of giving a drug… — Jane Wagner Copy Share
I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have deja vu! — Jane Wagner Copy Share
I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you. — Jane Wagner Copy Share
“See, the human mind is kind of like...a pinata. When it breaks open, there's a lot of surprises inside. Once you get the pinata… — Jane Wagner Copy Share
... it's hard to be politically conscious and upwardly mobile at the same time. — Jane Wagner Copy Share
