“Red Riding Hood screamed, not out of alarm at the wolf's apparent tendency toward cross-dressing, but because of his willful invasion of her personal space.” — James Finn Garner Copy Share Image
He burst into the house and ate Grandma, an entirely valid course of action for a carnivore such as himself. — James Finn Garner Copy Share Image
The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone." Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely… — James Finn Garner Copy Share
“There was a little girl who had a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very very good, But when she was bad, they upped her meds.” — James Finn Garner Copy Share
“Old King Cole was a merrie old soul, A merrie old soul was he. He called for his pipe and called for his bowl… — James Finn Garner Copy Share Image
The emperor is naked!" The parade stopped. The emperor paused. A hush fell over the crowd, until one quick-thinking peasant shouted: "No, he isn't.… — James Finn Garner Copy Share Image
Alas, if worth be based on beauty, Snow White has surpassed you, cutie. — James Finn Garner Copy Share Image
“While the archetype of the tinker is generally the whipping person in classical bedtimes stories, this particular individual was a tinker by trade and… — James Finn Garner Copy Share Image
Goldilocks [There] lived a family of bearstogether anthropomorphically in a little cottage as a nuclear family. They were very sorry about this, of course,… — James Finn Garner Copy Share Image
“Red Riding Hood screamed, not out of alarm at the wolf's apparent tendency toward cross-dressing, but because of his willful invasion of her personal… — James Finn Garner Copy Share Image
![“Goldilocks [There] lived a family of bearstogether anthropomorphically in a little cottage as a nuclear family. They were very sorry about this, of course, since the nuclear family has traditionally served to enslave womyn, instill a self-righteous moralism in its members, and imprint rigid…” quote by James Finn Garner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/a9b/james-finn-garner-41094_baby_goldilocks-there-lived-a-family-of-bears_2832209.jpg)