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People Quotes by Dylan Moran

45 People quotes by Dylan Moran

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Dylan Moran jokes that real people are already witty enough, so his characters can’t be any smarter. He compares adulthood to walking in a desert with a bag over your head, bumping into strangers. He also notes how comedy needs a social license and how people often look for meaning in religion or love.

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[Adulthood feels like] walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you…

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The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty

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Two young, fit, healthy attractive people in love? There’s nothing worse to look at in the world.

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America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as…

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I'm delighted to make as many people feel ashamed as possible. There's probably a site like that for everybody. I've heard Newt…

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People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

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I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.

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All the shy people are doomed! Natural selection favors the loud and the aggressive

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You can see desperation in people who are too eager to laugh because they're in such a hurry not to look at…

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Some people have told me that I'm grumpy; it's not something that I'm aware of. It's not like I walk around poking…

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Home gigs can be hard because it's an odd collision. More than anything, I feel self-conscious when my family are in the…

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You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever get. That's the way you're going…

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I know there's similar dissatisfaction in America. There's a lot of white people who come from blue collar backgrounds and who feel…

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Stand-up came naturally to me because people in Ireland talk. But that's not talking on panel shows; it is structured fun. It…

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A lot of the fiction I read growing up was post-war American, and not all of it centers on Manhattan, but around…

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I've seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that…

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I don't mind most religious people, I talk to them. I listen to them, you know, banging on. "I prayed very hard…

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It's such a bullshit move. Transparently so. It's obviously supposed to give succor to people who feel pissed off because someone from…

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Religion is the yeast of death cakes. It is the most awful agent on a vulnerable mind. It's the refuge of alienated…

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People do need a social license to go, "Ha ha ha," and have a good time. It's a strange thing. There's a…

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Of course people are angry. Generation upon generation had jobs at steel mills or whatever - things were going on and it…

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People who get implants, it's so depressing, you know... People - I don't know. The route of that, you know, maybe they…

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I have to say, as much I am respectful of people's faith and the idea of it being necessary for them, but…

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I find it incredibly boring when people are mean about some individuals, especially if the individual has no power. I can understand…

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I always try to address where I am. I'll talk to the people and try to find out what it is about…

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It probably says something really clinically terrible about my character that I need to get up on a stage and go 'Ra…

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I grew up in a house where there was lots of teasing and language play and laughter; it was very important. When…

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I wouldn't be in a huge hurry to go back to Kansas. It was just bizarre. There's a lot of very, very…

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Irish people give big hellos and very little goodbyes. Unless they're female, and then they spend five hours talking in the doorway…

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The terror of failure can make you feel like a failure. So a bunch of people think you're not very good at…

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And yet, people still turn to Jesus. You will notice though that the kind of people who turn to Jesus tend to…

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You know, people sometimes say to me, 'Do you prefer to do this or that, act or do stand-up or write' but…

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I do think it's perfectly natural and human to want to invest belief in something. It's just a facet of who we…

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I just wish I had longer. It's very frustrating. As you know, to people over here, cities like [Washington] D.C. are iconic.…

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As an Irish person, there's a historical fascination with America: America is the default green and promised land for Irish people and…

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I draw hundreds and hundreds of pictures of sort of gnarly looking men, so I don't know what that tells you. People…

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Children are very overprotected now, in lots of ways. We're very nervous about them. You know, people go, "Don't go outside! Or…

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I'm really not big on nationalism, to be honest with you. I really don't think it gets people anywhere except near a…

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I'll have to look into [Washington] D.C. a bit more. I know it's given over to the administration and the bureaucracy connected…

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The measure of a conversation is how much mutual recognition there is in it; how much shared there is in it. If…

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More by Dylan Moran

“You should be alive as you can until you're totally dead.”

America's work ethic is non-stop; it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But Americans work…

The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty

[Adulthood feels like] walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they…

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you…

If you're talking about crowd enthusiasm, it varies. I have a decent following in Australia so I like there. I'm interested in playing everywhere.

There are two types of wine essentially, and everybody knows this. There's the one where you drink it and go, "Mmmm, well that's ok,…

Go and lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move. I'm locking the door now

I suppose the best comedy shows do have the rock n' roll feeling - if it's a great night, and the roof is raised…

Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is…

The sensible thing for everyone to do would be to write all their op-eds and think pieces now so they're ready the day after…

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just get out of a chair when I'm not expecting it.

I think I still get something from the original broadcaster but I'm certainly not aware of any Netflix van driving to my house and…

People do need a social license to go, "Ha ha ha," and have a good time. It's a strange thing. There's a lot of…

I'm a vegetarian, well I'm not hardcore because I eat meat, but only because I like the taste, and I hate vegetables on a…