The American people don't really care what side of an issue you're on. They just don't want you to act like a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I do miss George Bush. Compared to these teabaggers and the people who are pandering to them, he looks like a professor. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Time magazine put Chris Christie on the cover with the caption, 'The Elephant in the Room.' And People magazine named him 'Sexiest… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I used to stay at the Trump [hotels] and I just wouldn't now. The people were great, but I wouldn't stay at… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People are very narcissistic. It's not all their fault. We live in a society where there is a magazine for you, a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The [Libyan] rebels this week kind of hinted to the United States that they could use a little help. Right. Like, America… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Religions are maintained by people. People who can't get laid, because sex is the first great earthly pleasure. But if you can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The Founding Fathers were more deists. If you had to categorize them as anything. There was some sort of moving prime force.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Reverend Ted Haggard's followers still think he's not gay. I'm not kidding. In their world, there are no gay people. There are… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The people [in the USA] are not very well informed. They certainly don't know history. They certainly are not interested in foreign… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I always say people would rather be nice than right. I like to be nice too, but come on. People frequently ask… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Barack Obama is the President of the United States, a politician in America, a very religious country, so I understand why he… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I mean, maybe one day we will live in a more optimum world where terrorists come in every color of the rainbow.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
It's very well known that the Republicans have problems with minorities. The Democrats have big problems with white people. Obama only got… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People say to me all the time, "I get my news from your show." And that isn't the way they should get… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You can refer to god and you are really just talking about nature. If you are going to say the universe is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Don't call me when you're stuck in traffic. It's not my fault that radio sucks and did it ever occur to you… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Guns aren't just a tool of last resort. They're awesome. That's why people stroke them. And name them, and take pictures with… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In Washington, the air quality today was described as 'red.'...You know what 'red' is? It's bad for everyone. Not just old people,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When people say to me, 'You hate America,' I don't hate America. I love America. I am just embarrassed that it has… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies. I think flying planes into a building was a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The plain fact is religion must die for mankind to live. The hour is getting very late to be able to indulge… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
What is with this campy fixation on all things Ronald Reagan? They talk about him the way gay people talk about Barbra… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort of art medium, and it's not. Others… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney was attacking Obama about our failing education system. He has a point. We are graduating millions of people in this… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People who don't like you almost never come up to you. That's a lot of years of saying things that I know… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I get the Playboy thing a lot. People assume I go out with bimbos. I couldn't go out with bimbos if I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
White people have always shown their superiority over blacks with their feet, moving out of black neighborhoods with the fear that their… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Ronald Reagan was an anti-government, union-busting, race baiting, anti-abortion, anti-gay, anti-intellectual, who cut rich people's taxes in half, had a incurable case… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share
So many kids are fat drug addicts these days, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies. — Bill Maher Copy Share
What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.” — Bill Maher Copy Share
![“I used to stay at the Trump [hotels] and I just wouldn't now. The people were great, but I wouldn't stay at a 'birther' hotel.” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87e/bill-maher-211_hotel_i-used-to-stay-at-the-trump-hotels-and-i_2655618.png)
![“The [Libyan] rebels this week kind of hinted to the United States that they could use a little help. Right. Like, America would just blunder around the Middle East killing people without all the facts. That doesn't sound like the America I know.” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a1c/bill-maher-211_america_the-libyan-rebels-this-week-kind-of-hint_1095970.jpg)
![“The people [in the USA] are not very well informed. They certainly don't know history. They certainly are not interested in foreign affairs very much, unless it comes right to their doorstep. They all learn history through wars. They learn geography through wars.” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb2/bill-maher-211_affair_the-people-in-the-usa-are-not-very-well_2551709.png)
![“Ronald Reagan was an anti-government, union-busting, race baiting, anti-abortion, anti-gay, anti-intellectual, who cut rich people's taxes in half, had a incurable case of the military-industrial complex, and said Medicare was socialism that would destroy our freedom. [. . .] Both sides really…” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0e7/bill-maher-211_abortion_ronald-reagan-was-an-anti-government-uni_1525625.jpg)
