“If God created man in his image... Does God have a functioning penis? And does God manually handle every penis he creates? Or does he outsource the job to penis-manufacturing elves?” — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
“Men looove pussy. They can never get enough of it. If you send a guy a pussy pic, he's gonna think you're awesome. And he assumes you feel the same way if he sends you an unsolicited dick pic. He… — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
“Medical studies have shown that cursing reduces levels of stress and pain. Repressing your anger is not healthy. It's much better to verbalize it,… — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
“Claiming to be offended is a great way to elevate yourself at the expense of others: “Look at me! I'm a much better person than you! And I judge you! I condemn you! Shame! Shame! SHAME! I shame you for being a bad person. That means I'm a good person! Look at how really really offended I am! That means… — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share
“Have you ever played Monopoly? It's a board game designed to teach kids capitalism. And what happens in the end? The winner has all… — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
“Food for thought: Every dead body on Mount Everest was once a highly motivated person. Stay lazy my friends. It may save your life… — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
“How come there's no commandment that says "Thou shalt not rape"? Did God ask Mary for consent before he put a baby in her?… — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
“If you think of yourself as a follower of Christ’s teachings, if you consider yourself a good person, you are morally obligated to be… — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
“There's a reason why most men don't read romance: Romance novels are wish-fulfillment for women. The fictitious men in romance novels fall all over themselves trying to please a woman. Does that sound like your real life experience with men? No of course not. (Except for guys who want to fuck you. There is no man more attentive as the… — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share
“The fictitious men in romance novels are as fake and imaginary as vampires. They're not real.” — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
“Why ban guns? Let's give everyone rocket launchers! What could possibly go wrong?” — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
“Political Correctness started out as a movement that intended to protect minorities from harassment. But it has morphed into an excuse for self-righteous zealots to harass people who supposedly offended minorities, even if the minorities don't actually feel offended. I mean, does any Eskimo really feel offended by the word Eskimo? Or have some Political Correctness zealots simply taken it… — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share
“These social media shamings bear an uncanny resemblance to medieval witch hunts.” If you were accused of being a witch back then, you were shit out of luck. Being accused was all it took. Forget “innocent until proven guilty.” Nobody bothered to prove your guilt. Nobody dared to speak up on your behalf, for fear of being called a witch… — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share
