“I hate zombies. I know that sound prejudiced. I'm sure some zombies are really nice to kittens and love their parents. But it's been my experience that most are not the kind of people you want sending you friend requests.” — James Ponti Copy Share Image
“Zues?" I said. "His computer. He named it." Then she whispered conspiratorially, "He acts like it's a person." "I do not," he said as… — James Ponti Copy Share Image
“I mean it, guys," I said. "Why don't you play Two Foot Trivia instead? It's just as fun and much safer." "First of all,… — James Ponti Copy Share Image
“I've never had much luck with New Year's resolutions. Last year I only lasted three days before realizing I couldn't survive without junk food.… — James Ponti Copy Share Image
“I hate zombies. I know that sound prejudiced. I'm sure some zombies are really nice to kittens and love their parents. But it's been… — James Ponti Copy Share Image
“If this had been a public-school locker room, there would have been some gray jumbo-sized garbage cans nearby, and I probably could've taken care… — James Ponti Copy Share Image
