Everybody is agreeing so tersely. I just had a flashback to the month before my parents finally admitted they were getting a divorce. — Samantha Bee Copy Share Image
Kids do have to learn that life is a humiliating charade of endless disappointment and tragedy ultimately culminating in pain, decay, and death. My parents used to sing me to sleep with that one. — Samantha Bee Copy Share Image
I want to get a gold star. And I know that there are places that I need to go in order to get the… — Samantha Bee Copy Share Image
Christmas: It's the only religious holiday that's also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit… — Samantha Bee Copy Share Image
There's always going to be someone who hates you. There's always going to be people who love you. It's a risk in either direction. — Samantha Bee Copy Share Image
It was only a few years ago that I couldn't get hired to save my life. — Samantha Bee Copy Share Image
Sometimes you're just interviewing someone and you're thinking the entire time, How can I get through this really quickly? Because I know this isn't… — Samantha Bee Copy Share Image
I think the show does better with newsmakers and politicians than it does with actors. — Samantha Bee Copy Share Image
I believe in breakfast. It's the one meal that my kids usually eat without a fuss, so that's huge. As for myself, I can't… — Samantha Bee Copy Share Image
I want to go to someone's world. I'll buy it if the world is full of zombies - I'll live there if you give… — Samantha Bee Copy Share Image
There's a danger zone if you take yourself too seriously. It's a terrible trap to fall into. I think it's the death of comedy. — Samantha Bee Copy Share Image
