My friend and I were up to all sorts of shenanigans at school. But one time it ended up disrupting the whole class and we got in trouble. His parents told him he wasn't allowed to hang out with me… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
I couldn't get away with Halloween pranks 'cause my parents owned the health food store. So, it was so easy to bust me. I was the only kid on the block egging houses with those big 'ole brown eggs. Like,… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
I quit because I'm so tired of hearing bad news about cigarettes... Even if they discover good news, they don't publicize it - like… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
I'm not even worried about settling down. I think it's way too early. I'm 25 and I'm in show business. I mean, if things… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
Google is ridiculous. Everyone uses Google, and that's why Google has such an attitude. Because it's so popular, it's conceited. I mean, it has… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
My general rule of thumb is, once something's a ride at Disneyland, I assume that it is no longer a threat in real life.… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
I could've enjoyed a cigarette if I smoked back before everyone knew it was bad - say, like, 1923. Everybody smoked back then. There… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
There's no razor in candy. If for no other reason, it doesn't make financial sense. It's not fiscally prudent. How much does a piece… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
I fainted last night! Luckily I was going to bed at the time so I didn't get hurt. — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
I'm trying to feel terrified and alone. And regret every decision I've ever made, drenched in a cold sweat. It's called going to sleep.… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
I believe that if you go on a date and get to second base and then you go home alone and rub one out,… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
I was troubled by the presence of a shoe museum because it forced me to ask a very burning question: would my body be… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
I never smoke grass and drive my car because, for one thing, no matter how many letters I write to the road commissions, they… — Arj Barker Copy Share Image
