It's autumn in New York. The colors are changing yellow, the browns, the greens, the oranges. And that's just the tap water. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
New York City has 2 million rats. We used to have 8 million rats. Now we're down to 2 million. You know… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
It was announced that President Obama and his wife, when they're finished in Washington, are moving to New York City. The guy… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey taxi." Two is "What train do… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
To save energy, New York City is now dimming the lights of the skyscrapers and the skyline at night. There's a bad… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I got some good news earlier today before the show. Thanks to Alex Rodriguez, I am no longer the most overpaid disappointment… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Two things you need to know about taxes. They've extended the deadline to April 18, and when you write your check, just make it… — David Letterman Copy Share
You know Kim Jong Un, the evil dictator of North Korea? Apparently, a guy in his inner circle used his ashtray while smoking and… — David Letterman Copy Share
It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights. — David Letterman Copy Share
There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving turkey. They… — David Letterman Copy Share
Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice. — David Letterman Copy Share
We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since… — David Letterman Copy Share
I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal. — David Letterman Copy Share
I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to… — David Letterman Copy Share
Do I think there is a heaven? Uh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really… — David Letterman Copy Share
Well, we're just a couple of weeks from new President Barack Obama being sworn in. And he's been very busy naming a lot of… — David Letterman Copy Share
Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. — David Letterman Copy Share
Prince William and Kate Middleton are in New York City. We have got to do something about immigration. — David Letterman Copy Share
